CatFight

Eureka I scream,

I scream Epiphany.

Post scores of tribulations,

It finally dawns upon me.

That, Inside of me, they reside,

Two ladies who always help me decide.

Ladies, I call my Mind and my Heart,

For, ladies they are, truly works of art,

Logical, mature and succinct at times,

Or impulsive, unreal and unreasonable,

Swaying, just like wind chimes.

Both, attention seeking, like a child in the rhymes

I wonder, if they even belong to me, sometimes.

On matters in which they’re congruent,

They are like a house on fire,

On matters, not so much,

Contests go down to the wire.

They fight, they sulk, and they scratch like cats,

Just like the Nazis, Commies and Democrats.

In my contentment though, lies their ultimate goal,

In my disposition, they play a large role.

Each wants their voice to be heard,

While both debate adamantine,

They expect the other to soften,

Yet eventually they complain,

That I use the other one more often.

Uncomplicate.

No philosophies, I preach,
No Humanities, I teach.
But, I must, if I may,
Bare all that have to say.
To understand,
It takes no rocket science,
That, there lies no sense,
In pointless defiance
Complexities, is on what we all thrive,
Needlessly forgetting, we are Alive.
Gathering some ‘Friends’,
Amassing a ‘Following’,
In the end, it’s the real ones,
To you, who cling.
Of your hearts,
They pull a string.
In us all, stays this ghost,
He, is what troubles me most.
Following, Followers, Friends, Fans,
All futile,
If outside of it,
You cease,
To make a real person smile.
The purity of one’s heart,
If judged by a profile face,
On which lies a pimple,
Well, you know then,
That the most difficult thing
Is to be Simple.

IPL Rantings - Read at your own risk.

I do follow cricket with quite a keen eye and do so with an open mind towards all formats of the game. I don’t necessarily subscribe to ‘Test snobbery’, nor do I have any cynicism about the way ODI is going nor do I believe that the future of cricket is just about an orgy of fours and sixes. A cricket match is just like art, ‘art for arts’ sake’, they say, and each format, a different ball game altogether.

Therefore, it should come as no surprise that The Indian Premier League does interest me despite all it's commercialization and innovation (although, I believe the only innovations done are new terms such as Karbonn Kamal Catches, Citi moments of Success and Cricketainment and of course, the MRF Blimp. However, more on that later. I enjoy a closely contested match, regardless of all the 'fixed/rigged' allegations for I have not much tangible to lose or gain anyway.

While the cricket is fine and as great as it can ever be, it's the entertainment that gets me agitated. The overkill of content packaging and 'expert' opinions, which comprise of a wannabe model, a Video jockey and ex cricketers who have forgotten the that it’s a contest of Bat and ball not, proverbs and idioms, and the pre-mid-post-anytime match analysis are actually masking the actual cricket rather than enhancing it. A classic case of the wrapping paper so loud that it takes the sheen out of the actual present. As for the ads, enough has already been said. The marketing heads seem to have actually lost their heads and if the game permits, they would even have an ad for every breath a player takes. For one it does look like I’m being served ads with some cricket breaks in between.

What amuses me more is the fact that brands associate themselves with completely unrelated things. For instance, hardly do I understand why a tire making company would have a phallic shaped blimp at each of the stadia and call it a technological breakthrough. It still makes some sense for they do have some association with the game and also sponsor a cricket academy in the country. But try understanding and explaining why a new mobile handset entrant wants to ensure its name is heard at each catch, and I’ll show you a spin-doctor. Try doing the same for DLF Maximum and Citi moment of success. At the end of it all you’ll be wondering ‘How does it make any sense?’ Now just when you're about to lose it, you have another mind numbing phenomenon. There does exist in actuality, a brand which sponsors 'Nothing', absolutely 'Nothing'. Max mobile sponsors the strategic time-out, during which nothing happens. I may not be a media expert, and perhaps that's why I yet haven't understood why a brand would want to be associated with nothing. Funny! That said, there is no denying that it sells, and there are a bunch of people cashing in on it. I, for one, have caught most matches in the city at the stadium and also followed a large part on TV and the Internet. So I can understand that at any given point in time, the demand for cricket in our country will always exceed the supply. This isn’t even my real concern with regard to the tournament.

My real problem lies in the puny tokenism that takes place in this jamboree. We got to accept that it’s a funny world when charity becomes fashion. All of a sudden it seems cool to be associated with some act of philanthropy so much so, that it forms an important part of the agenda. While the act is not questionable, the intent is. Karbonn mobile, for instance, donates Rs. 25,000 per catch taken during their Kamaal catch competition or whatever that is, for each catch taken. I don’t doubt their ingenuity, but why would I really want to see douche-bags attempting to make full fools out of themselves while trying to grab the ugly pink ball hit by a lesser mortal of a franchise? More importantly, does the company actually need to show such belittling benevolence trying to build brand recognition and presence?

It’s unnerving. What’s even worse is the Green Responsibility taken by the IPL fraternity this season. Certainly, Green is the color of the season and his here to stay. But, this one, has surpassed all boundaries, infuriated enough to make an indifferent and an easy going (plain lazy, if you must) me to have actually written the following to the IPL authorities by virtue of the Feedback section on their website. Here is a copy of the same. Informal it is, but rarely does irritation and anger vent itself formally.

To Whom It May Concern:

This is with regard to the green initiative the IPL has taken this season. While it sounds great, I wish to know what green acts have you being doing? For, My only rant against the IPL is the tokenism it undertakes. Green Initiatives. Ha! Despite a spate of Fireworks after each boundary, Blaring Loud Speakers and Corporate Helicopters Flying to and fro for one puny man, they proudly give a stupid green tip right before the toss. This does nothing to reduce carbon footprints. The only green I see is the outfield, which too is fast disappearing because of advertising signage all over. I wish to know if you'll are actually planting any trees or undertaking such acts to offset the carbon emissions created by this tournament so far. If not, then I wonder of what use is the globe you'll got signed by the captains of all franchises, apart from selling it off at yet another 'charity' auction.

Regards,

Mangalam Maloo.

Finally, the eternal optimist in me still says, things will get better. One Day, Cricket (don’t mistake it for One Day Cricket. The comma lies between one day and cricket) will be played the way it should be, and we shall all enjoy it the way it should be. But then again, what should be, would be only if what could be, would be.

Much Love

M

Phir Mile Sur...

My friend Himanshu Kapadia and many others who shared the same opinion as me on the new version of Mile Sur Mera Tumhara, the epic song on National Integration, have made me write this note. While we all feel, this one lacks the sense of awe and patriotism and goosebump generating capacities of the earlier ones, here is my reckoning of the whole thing. Do treat it as my humble and personal opinion and you may also feel free to bash me, add your own and agree in unison. Here are a few points which I think might be the main reason behind it not having the kind of impact as anticipated by us:

1)The first one, unlike this, was a novelty concept. Today, we have videos featuring many big people for each issue, right from the girl child, to elections to even cheering the cricket team for a world cup. Whereas, earlier having such big names in a video itself was enough to create ripples.

2)The Cricket World, as per a friend of mine related to this says, was deliberately overlooked. I think of it as stupid because, a video on national integration is incomplete without Sachin Tendulkar (the epitome of national intergration IMHO.) Can't yet digest, having a punk like Shahid Kapoor, score over him.

3)A few also thought that parts of India, mainly the North-East were ignored. While, North India was somewhat represented through Bhupen Hazarika, it was the complete omission of Corporate India that baffled me most.People like Narayan Murthy, Anand Mahindra, Ratan Tata, One of the Ambanis and Kumar Mangalam Birla together in a frame would have created much more impact than 18 SRKs, 20 ABs and 30 Deepikas together wouldn't.

That said, I think, it was a nice thing to revive the song and the inclusion of a few of my favorite musicians right from ARR, SEL, Rahul Sharma, Amaan n Ayaan, Anoushka and Sivamani made it watchable. Rahman was presented in the best manner ever. We often see him in videos, arms spread and singing in his usual high pitch. However, this one, with him playing the Continuum was done extremely well.

M